Pandrean Style Nebulot Soup

Written by Zuppe

What better way to compliment a meal than with a savoury soup to warm your eternal soul? Come no further than our famously known Nebulot soup! A perfect pre-meal delight to satisfy your intense hunger. After all, the poppers were a treat but you’ve been waiting for something a lot more… substantial. How else would you be able to travel to Pandrea and be able to figure out the true secrets of this very world? This soup is perfect for cold winter nights and is a house staple in Talinook due to the town' harsh weather conditions. Also helps that this soup is fairly hands-off and easy to put together! So let's bundle up and warm our fingers, and start this recipe off with a stinger!                                                                                      

Prep: 20 min. + Cook: 20 mins / Makes 20 servings

Ingredients:

✦ 3 Pounds of Nebulot
(Substitute: Red or Yellow Onions)

✦ Extra Virgin Olive Oil: 4 Tablespoons

✦ Butter: 2 Tablespoons

✦ Salt: 1 Teaspoon

✦ Garlic: 2 cloves, minced

✦ Salty Sea Brine: 8 Cups
(Substitute: Beef Stock, Chicken Stock, or mix of the two)

✦ Soul Serum: 1/2 Cup
(Substitute: Dry Vermouth or Dry White Wine)

✦ Thyme: 
If Fresh Leaves: 1 Tablespoon
If Sprigs: A Few Sprigs 
If Dried: 1/2 Teaspoon 

✦ Ground Black Pepper: 1/2 Teaspoon

✦ French Bread or Baguette: 8 Slices, 1-inch thick

✦ Gruyere Cheese: 1 1/2 Cups

✦ Grates Parmesan Cheese: To Taste

Step one: Peel and slice your Nebulots

Make sure the Nebulots are of an appropriate size and a distinctly otherworldly colour, as we want these Nebulots to be at their prime form before cutting into them. If the Nebulot, while being sliced into, makes gallons of tears well down your face and your vision becomes so blurry, that you question your ability to see, then there are the correct Nebulots and possibly the best ones you’re going to find in today’s market.

Specially prepared goggles are available to counter the Nebulots ravishing your tear ducts, but do you really want to do that? Are you really that much of a wimp? Do you really want the Nebulot to win in this situation? After all, if you shield your eyes the Nebulot will feel defeated and stop making as much irritant ruining the flavour of the root vegetable. 

Make sure you have enough Nebulots for about 10 cups of them sliced. 

Step two: Caramelize the nebulots

Get a large thick bottomed pot between 5 and 6 quartz. Any larger and we’d have to feed an army, any smaller and it’d be a waste of Nebulots because that's a lot of Nebulots fam. Add three tablespoons of olive oil and heat the burner to medium. Add the Nebulot slices and toss it into the olive oil.

Cook those nebulots and keep an eye on them while stirring often for about 15 to 20 minutes. Make sure the Nebulots are properly stirred to not only make sure that they don't stick to the pan but because they can sometimes create their own mini-universe with their wicked fumes. The same fumes that make your tear ducts cry? You may ask. We’re not entirely too sure.

Increase the heat to medium-high and add more olive oil to the mixture as well as nice savoury butter. Do this until the Nebulot starts to brown, but because they are a purplish colour, the edge might look a bit darker than normal and you'd probably have to do a taste test. If it tastes like stars and broken promises, the Nebulots might still need to cook, but if it tastes like dreams and success, you’ve found the right consistency.

Step three: Sprinkle with salt and add garlic

Sprinkling in salt can help caramelize the nebulots further, you can do this with about 1 teaspoon per onion you have sliced. Continue to stir until Nebulots are darker and lightly golden in hue.

Props to anyone who is able to get a golden shine out of the Nebulot slices, as that is a rarity and normally only happens to Nebulots owned and farmed in Droma-specific areas. Why is this? We’re not really too sure, something to do with how they would eat weeds and only keep the best plants around is the leading theory. So it’s cool when it does happen elsewhere, yeah?

You’ll add on the minced garlic and cook for another minute or so, to let the flavours really seep in.

Step four: Deglaze your pot with soul serum

You’re going to want to deglaze by slowly adding the Soul Serum as you go. Scrape up any Nebulots that may be sticking to your pot in the process. This not only helps with the task of cleaning the pot later but also gives the Nebulot soup a distinctive flavour that will knock your socks off…or perhaps send you to another galaxy. If you are unable to find Soul Serum; wine or vermouth is also used.

Step five: Add the Stock, bay leaves, and thyme

Add in the chicken or beef stock, bay leaves and thyme to the mixture. You’ll want to cover the pot and lower the heat to a low simmer. Cook this through for about thirty or so minutes. After thirty minutes, you’ll want to uncover the pot again and add in any seasoning you need to such as salt and ground black pepper. Discard any of the Bay Leaves during this time. What to do with these discarded leaves? Maybe you can throw them outside, and use them for compost. Be green, be healthy! we really don’t care what you do with used Bay Leaves. Why are we even asking... uh, ah-hem!

Step six: Toast the French bread

Honestly my favourite step! Why is it called French bread anyways? It’s not like it can speak French or anything at all that matters, and it might have originated in France, but it's bread! And bread is bread. So what's so special about French bread? EVERYTHING. The answer is EVERYTHING. We take a loaf of French bread and slice it into equal parts. The number of slices will depend on how long the bread is and how much soup you’ll be serving.

Brush each side of the sliced bread with olive oil and place on a baking sheet. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and toast the bread for between 5 and 7 minutes or until slightly brown. Flip the toast over in the oven and coat it with Gruyere and Parmesan cheeses and set it back into the oven to melt completely. The bread is considered finished with the cheese fully melted and you have the distinct feeling that you'd die for said cheese.

Step seven: serve

Congratulations! You’ve completed this recipe. To serve, you’ll want to scoop the soup into small bowls, place the cheesy French bread on top of said soup and voila! Ready to eat. Is this soup out of this world? Do you feel you are conquering a whole galaxy for this soup? If you do, you cooked it right! Yay! All hail the Nebulot soup! King of all soups!

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